Last night, I went climbing.
I was already a comfortable 3-pie lead climber, but I wanted to push for a harder, 4-pie route.
The middle of the route was the crux for me – full of tiny, awkward footholds, which were my biggest weakness. The real challenge wasn’t just the physical difficulty, but the knowledge that I’d free-fall for a moment if I slipped.
I still decided to go for it anyway, telling myself I can always call for tight if I’m scared.
The climb went fine in the beginning, but true enough, my foot slid off a tiny hold in the middle and I fell.
In a split second, it was over. The rope held. I was safe. And I had tried.
In the end, the fear of the fall was a lot more intense than the fall itself.
As most of you know, I’m now also in between jobs.
I would spend hours alone every alternate day, sending out résumés into the digital void. This was comfortable. I could do it from my room, with no one watching.
The uncomfortable part was reaching out to my friends. These were people I knew and liked, yet the idea of asking them for help paralysed me with the fear of rejection.
But I decided to face that fear. I sat down and drafted a short message to a few friends whose careers I respected. “Hey, just letting you know I’m looking for growth marketing and performance marketing jobs. If you hear of anything, I’d really appreciate it if you kept me in mind.”
Thankfully, the replies that came back were full of encouragement and advice. I felt supported and grateful for the kind messages sent along my way.
This made me realise most of our lives are governed by a circle of comfort. Inside this circle are our family, our friends, our routines, and our familiar places.
It’s safe, predictable, and feels good. But it’s also where we stop growing.
The real opportunities—the new job, the new skill, the new relationship—all exist just outside the border of that circle. And the only way to get to them is to walk directly through a feeling we are biologically wired to avoid: discomfort.
Here’s what worked for me – start small with an out for yourself. When climbing, I told myself I would call for tight if I’m scared. As for leveraging my network while job hunting, I curated a smaller list of friends to send my message in the beginning before expanding the list.
The truth is, the rope will catch you. Your friends will be there.
The fall was fine. The replies were full of encouragement and support.
The actual consequences of taking the risk were not nearly as bad as the fear of taking it.
How brave all of us are for taking that first step of trying.
Best,
Valery