Reality is far messier and more interesting than our idealised narratives.
In end October 2024, as I walked out of the Google office for the last time, my manager, Rong, handed me a pot of asparagus fern.
It was my first ever plant and I remembered what she said as if it were yesterday, “Val, I hope you continue to grow out there as much as you did during your time here. This plant will be a reflection of that.”
“It’s a Level 0 plant. Totally beginner-friendly,” she added brightly.
At first, the plant was thriving, just like me. I enjoyed the freedom of funemployment. Travellled with three separate groups of friends. Tried out a digital nomad life.
But by my sixth month out of Google, this Level 0 plant was dying. No matter how much I watered it or moved it into the sunlight, the fronds turned a brittle, sickly yellow.
That felt like it reflected my circumstances – I decided to return to the workforce, going for multiple interviews and tests, waiting, and…. failed to become the final candidate.
At the same time, I messaged the plant shop seeking their help in saving the plant.
Looking back, I realised that the biggest mistake I made then was expecting progress to be relentless and linear. This expectation led to discouragement when I simply did not achieve the result I wanted.
Progress is actually a series of small, often frustrating, steps up a very looooooong staircase, with many moments where the next step wasn’t immediately visible.
The real win is staying on the staircase long enough to find the next way up. You can’t see what’s ahead, but you know there’s more to discover. Change won’t happen overnight, but if you quit, it won’t happen at all.
My job offer arrived with the same suddenness. One day, I was a failed candidate; the next, I was a hired professional.
In the end, Rong was right. I did grow as much as I did at Google, but the growth looked different this time. It was the courage it took to keep going, even when I felt like nobody needed my skills or expertise.
If you’re staring at your own version of yellow leaves today, don’t mistake this season of life for the finish line. I hope you see how far you’ve come, instead of how far you have to go. This too shall pass.
Because in the end? My asparagus fern is thriving now.
As for me, I hope I can hang on to the advice I just dished out as I continue to settle into my new job.
Cheering for you,
Val