In a world that screams for instant results, where notifications ping with the promise of immediate gratification, the idea of waiting and letting things unfold at their own pace, feels almost physically painful.
We crave the lightning strike of immediate payoffs, but growth, real growth, is a slow, almost imperceptible creep.
It’s a frustrating paradox: the most profound achievements, the ones that truly shift the trajectory of our lives, are built on the most fundamental actions, repeated with unwavering consistency.
Progress happens too slowly to notice. Like watching grass grow, you only see the change when you look back years later.
In fact, sometimes you may even have to go backward.
I remember a lesson I learned when I was in a news writing module at university. I was working on a news reporting assignment. It was a topic well chosen in advance and I had an angle to write with all my interviewees lined up. I started my interviews but then hit a wall. I realised that whatever they said was against my topic angle. And in order to progress, I would have to rethink my entire topic. In other words, I would have to make a U-turn and change my article.
Intellectually, I knew that the only way to do well in this module was to go backward, but there was a part of my brain that strongly resisted absorbing those sunk costs. I still think about this sometimes. I remind myself that in certain circumstances, the only way to achieve my goals is to head backward, at least temporarily.
Growth is driven by persistence and perseverance, whereby endurance is key.
Setbacks, however? They arrive with the force of a wrecking ball, and happen too quickly to ignore. They shatter our carefully laid plans and demand immediate attention. These moments of crisis often trigger the very impatience we strive to overcome.
Personally, I struggle to hold myself back after every dip in the stock market. The urge to react, to buy in discounted equities, to do something to take advantage of the lower prices, is almost overwhelming.
Similarly, even the seemingly stable act of staying in a job requires a certain level of patience – enduring periods of stagnation, navigating workplace dynamics, and trusting that your consistent effort will eventually lead to growth and opportunity
In a study, participants indicated how impatient they would feel in response to different scenarios.
Results indicated three scenarios that create a “perfect storm” for impatience:
The stakes are relatively high (traffic on the way to a favorite band’s concert),
The state of waiting is unpleasant (no seats and no distractions at the DMV), and
When someone is clearly to blame for the delay (the lab forgot to process your medical test).
However, some people were more patient than others:
Upon self-reflection, I feel like I’m beginning to understand that the grand patience required for the truly significant things in life – building a fulfilling career, nurturing deep relationships, achieving lasting personal growth – is not some innate gift.
It’s a muscle, developed and strengthened through countless small acts of patience in the everyday.
Learn to be more comfortable with open-ended situations. Be more willing to truly listen to a friend without interrupting or to persevere through a challenging task one step at a time.
It’s in these small moments that we cultivate the enduring patience needed to navigate the inevitable delays and embrace the slow, steady rhythm of real and lasting growth.
The urge to react, to do, is always there. But I'm learning to see the value in not doing. In letting time do its work. In remembering that the most important investments are often the ones we can't see, the ones that compound silently, over decades.
After all, the patience you need for big things is developed by your patience with the little things.